sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I am mentally ready for anal.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
