so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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