Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
