nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize