Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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