We're like a lot better than the average bears
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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