she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Randomize
