I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you had me at cake vodka
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize