We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
