He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
