Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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