normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
