well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
