She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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