i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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