who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize