he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
