WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
