your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
