that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
