I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
