We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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