My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize