It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
