yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
