I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
