come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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