you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
