i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
