Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
