You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
