He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
