Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize