Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
