member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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