Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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