guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
