It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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