Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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