You made me cry and you don't even care
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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