Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
‎"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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