Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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