These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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