don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
