Kiss
Puke
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
