ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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