I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
