Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
