Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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