I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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