The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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