she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
