***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
