i jhust puked up my retainher.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
