i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
