I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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