From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
