no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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