I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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