who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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