waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
