so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
