the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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