well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
