Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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