Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
